My Moving On Letter

This is my way of moving on, of saying goodbye to a love that was never meant to be and was never mine from the beginning. You know, I’ve never really understood what happened between us…how and why we came to this - not seeing each other, barely talking, barely even on speaking terms. But then again, was there ever an "us" to begin with? We were just friends who kidded about having a relationship. . I never knew if you loved me back, I never asked. At first, it was because I truly believed there wasn’t anything out of ordinary that needed questioning, and when it finally dawned on me, it was too late. You seemed to have changed your mind. From the beginning onwards, things went from happy, even blissful, to downright ugly. Though I may not have said anything yet…I have loved you with all my heart, and loving you still, but I’m tired - I’m tired of fighting for a love that has lived its moment…of living with memories that are special only to me… Thank you for everything…for taking away my insecurities; for showing me that people do love me for who I am; for making me understand that people I love could hurt me but it doesn’t mean they love me any less, and that when they do hurt me, it is possible to forgive, forget and move on with my life; for making me realize that it's possible to trust again after getting hurt. Thank you for giving me the most painful lesson in my life thus far…that the moment you love someone you already have given him the capacity to hurt you, that how much you hurt is equal to how much you love, that getting hurt is proportionate to having too many expectations. Thank you for accepting me and allowing me to have enough room to grow, for inspiring me and making me a better person. Thank you for being there when I needed you - for the silly and serious moments; for making me laugh, smile and cry; for never failing to make me feel better no matter how down or how depressed I’ve become; for unselfishly sharing joys and happiness. Most of all, thank you for making me feel special, for making me feel loved, even if it was so ambiguous and so fleeting, I was hardly conscious about it. I’m sorry that things has come and end like this- I wasn’t supposed to fall in love with you and I wasn’t supposed to expect anything at all. But even if everything got so painful, I’m still glad that I have known you, to have had you in my life even just for a while. I’ve heard people say that some good things never last, others don’t even start - I guess that fits us exactly…we could have been good together…good for each other, but then since faith never really gave us a chance, things had ended before they even began. I’m letting you go, I’m letting "us" go. I’ve finally accepted that this is the way things should have been, that I should allow us both to be free enough to seek whatever it is that will truly make us happy. Even if it isn’t with each other. I must admit you probably won’t be too far away from my thoughts and thinking of you will still bring that tinge of sadness and regret. But I’m okay. I will be okay. Loving again may take awhile though. For now, im giving myself a time to heal, on making myself complete - so when the right one finally comes, I'd be able to give myself completely as I would have wanted to give myself to you. Wherever life may lead us…good luck! and tc to u always.......looking forward in seeing you next year......may pramis ka skin eh......i love you wilbert